Air Sex World Championships

Words fail me.

This is the type of thing you expect to see in Japan, or somewhere in Europe, but it's apparenlty all the rage in the United States now. There are competitions in New Orleans, Dallas, Atlanta, Washington DC, Providence RI, Philadelphia, heck, even in Oregon!, Santa Fe, and so on.

People actually get up on stage and have "air sex" [similar to the phenomena of "air guitar" where people who can't play guitar pretend that they can. Presumably the contestants here are people that can't have sex, but imagine what it would be like if they could...

Stupid...and scary. The degredation of America continues.

Here's the About page from their website:

The time for you to lose your air virginity is NOW.

In 2009, The Air Sex World Championships erupted in over 14 cities across North America, crowning champions from Atlanta to Toronto to Tucon. The competition climaxed in Austin, Tx in October where we crowned the first ever World Champion, Shanghai Slammer from Los Angeles. This year we come back and we’re looking forward to what the country shows us now that we’re in a more formal relationship.

Never been to an Air Sex show before? Here’s what you need to know: it’s a lot like Air Guitar, but instead of rocking out with an imaginary guitar, you’re making sweet and/or filthy love with an imaginary sex partner. You choose a clip of music, you show up in whatever sort of wardrobe you like, and you come up on stage and show everyone how you do it. Or how you wish you could do it. Or how you once had it done to you, and oh my god was that a bad idea and while it’s embarrassing to show that act to a room of strangers, you know that you need to do it now in order to make sure that no one else falls down the same rabbit hole you got stuck inside. Or, you know, just do it however you want.

The only rules we have are the laws laid down by the state we’re in. Since most Air Sex venues serve alcohol, you can’t get naked. And since some also serve food, all orgasms have to be simulated (or at least arguably so). Other than that, you’re free to do whatever it takes to impress the judges, the audience in the theater, and the world!

The Air Sex World Championships are hosted by comedian Chris Trew and based out of the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Tx.